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Sporting Parents Behaving Badly

12-08-2009

SPORTING PARENTS BEHAVING BADLY

From childhood through to adolescence kids are very aware of their environment. They take particular notice of how people behave, especially people who are important to them. They are often called “role models”. These include their extended family and non-family members they admire, such as teachers or “heroes” of various kinds (sporting, musical, media). This is why reports of violence by parents at children’s sporting events are so disturbing. Parents give kids the message that “to behave like this is ok”. The range of behaviour stretches from verbal abuse of opponents’ parents to physical threats to match officials.

In the background of this is the competitive nature of sport. There is only one winner and success or failure is played out right there in front of us. In body contact sports there is an abiding atmosphere of aggression. Notions of playing the game in a fair and honourable way tend to gain little traction here.

Sport often reflects wider social issues. The winners in life are celebrated, and the archetype is that of a talented, driven and ruthless person. The models of professional sport exemplify these characteristics.

Sport can be war by proxy, between different “tribes” (racial, geographic, religious, social). Roy Masters, the iconic coach of the Western Suburbs “fibros” referred to the Manly team as the “silver tails”.

Anger overflows when there are perceived injustices during games, as with questionable refereeing decisions, further fanning the aggressive mind set of the spectators.

In kids’ sport there are often gross physical variations, especially in the pre-adolescent years. This accentuates a sense of unfairness felt by some parents. These parents harbour the usual protective instincts towards their kids, especially where injury occurs. This can readily erupt into anger at the person causing the injury.

Some parents live out their own (failed) sporting aspirations through their kids. When this happens parents feel their kids’ successes or failures as their own. There is a range of emotion which accompanies this process.

In the early 1980’s the Canadian government was so concerned about this that they produced a code of conduct for parents at children’s sporting events.

Most match officials do their job on a voluntary basis, and are justifiably horrified at the prospect of being physically threatened by an angry parent.

Parents who behave in a verbally or physically aggressive manner at sporting events should be prevented from being there. This is more easily said than done. Obviously an attempt to prevent this behaviour is the most logical approach, once again fine in theory. Where physical aggression occurs, there are obvious legal repercussions.

What else can be done?

1. Each sports governing body needs to review what it has in place regarding a policy about spectator behaviour at kids’ sports.

2. There needs to be a clear indication of what is and what is not, an acceptable standard of behaviour.

3. There needs to be a clear indication of the consequences of unacceptable behaviour. There needs to be a way of enforcing this.

4. At a club level there should be a way of approaching problem spectators to discuss their behaviour and its adverse effects upon kids’ perceptions of “normal”. Not all people will be amenable to this approach. If not, a more punitive approach is required.

It must be said that the vast majority of parents watching their kids play sport behave impeccably. It is to be hoped that this remains the case. The societal consequences of acceptance of aggressive parent role models by kids are worrying.

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